“Mitt Romney says we should only discus income inequality in ‘quiet rooms.’ You know, like a cinema playing ‘The Beaver.’”

“People say, ‘ooh, Ron Paul, he’s a bit of a nutter,’ just because he wants to legalize hard drugs and prostitution, but I don’t see what’s so unreasonable about letting Charlie Sheen balance the budget.”

[Something about Tom Cruise buying “doggie sunglasses”]

“Rick Santorum is stupid because he believes in God.”

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